by the sounds of it your pretty superstitious, lve been through allot of rough things myself, past few years have been pretty shit.. got sacked from the last couple of jobs (not myself my parents l kinda rely on them allot because lm not working)
first time for just looking at other employment possibilities, the second time they got accused of a burglary they never committed, talk about bad luck or what, currently severely in debt because of it, kinda feels like bad luck follows us
, still you may blame yourself but its prolly just bad luck, lm not going anywhere, you post a message l will reply.. besides l only believe in two fates/destiny's in life, your born and you die... what makes life meaningful are the choices you make while alive and the ppl who you help while alive will remember you for who you were and not for what you did.
lm leaving my impression here, and will continue to even if you dont reply again because your worried, just let it be known that whatever you think is your fault is pure coincidence, by the sounds of it you need a new perspective.. and if l can help provide one then thats a good thing ^_^.
so all l can really say, is its not your fault.. however your choice now is to either help those who are still alive, from experience l felt l was cursed to be alone, lve no one really here.. but tbh l dont see it that way any more, because where ever l am lm connected to everyone, they are just a call away.