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Akira just nodded with a deeo sigh. He put his head on Josh's arm and relaxed.. somehow. It was really something else. Then he strightened and started to wrote. 'Are we lovers? Or.. I'm sorry Master but I don't really understand. What we are...? How should I act..?'
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After having a few moments to enjoy the hug, Josh read what Akira had written and had to pause for a minute to think. He wasn’t sure if they had a label set on them yet, although he tried to explain as best he could. “Lovers would mean we love each other. So I guess that’s up to what you feel inside.” Josh said before furthering the conversation.
“Act natural with me. If you want to do something, do it. If you don’t feel that sensation through your heart for me, I guess love has to wait a bit longer….” Josh then looked into Akira’s green eyes and sighed with a faint, almost defeated smile on his face. “I already know what my heart wants, and that’s you. So no matter what we’re labeled as, what truly matters is how we feel; that’s the thing that defines ‘us‘.” Josh whispered. |
'If I don't want to let someone else to be with you... even if that's a cat.. what does it mean?' He asked that knowing he would be given the best answer with asking that. Though.. he still wanted to know what did it mean.
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Glancing at Lady for a moment, Josh creased his brow before focusing on Akira. “Jealousy.” he said right away before getting into a bit more detail. “Most likely…you feel as though you want me to yourself.” Josh muttered, his tone sounding almost hopeful since he was unsure if that was exactly how Akira felt.
“It’s not abnormal, more natural actually. Seeing you with Sangre sometimes makes me a bit jealous since I want you to myself. The same probably goes for you with me. And if being with Lady makes you feel that way let me know. I’ll still pet her but I won’t be as snuggly with her when I can be like that with you instead.” Josh finished. |
'Isn't it stupid with me? It's a cat... she has a pretty bad life.. I.. I'm lucky to be here..' Akira looked at the Lady and the on his won knees. He was quite unsure. if what he felt was the right thing to feel. After all it would be quite bad thing to feel with a cat so hurt like her. Whichever cat.
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Shaking his head, Josh simply looked from the cat to Akira, speaking in the same soft voice as earlier. “It sounds stupid but it’s not. I promise you, if I saw you taking pleasure, or satisfaction out of an inanimate object, such as something as simple as a shower, or even if you indulged in the scent of something a bit too much, I’d be jealous of that. It sounds….idiotic to be jealous of something not even alive, or something that cant even take us away from each other but that’s just how it works…how our emotions work for one another.” Josh then looked at Akira and added faintly. “Emotions show us our true feelings. When you feel jealous, just notice how it makes you feel towards me, instead of the cat. Focus on me.” Josh said while gazing into his eyes.
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Akira started write once gain. 'But when you go away.. and I know you would be meeting others.. I feel that.. I have.. there's that feeling.. It's bad, right?' He looked at Josh quite.. lost in what he should think about it. It was hard to understand.. even after Sangre told him some about it. 'Sangre answered my question bout it.. but I still don't understand..'
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Akira’s questions made Josh wonder a bit more. He tried his best not to jump to conclusions but he wondered if Akira felt these feelings for him...it might have just showed he actually could love him. Pursing his lips shortly, Josh looked at Akira and began to speak, his expression showing how deep in thought he was.
“Leaving makes you feel like your missing something right? You worry? Or…maybe even feel defenseless without me around?” Josh asked him with a curious look in his eye. “I understand, I feel similar with you done but with a slightly different look on it. I feel like you’re at risk without me around and I worry.” Josh rubbed along his jaw, hearing that he spoke to Sangre about it he wondered what more they spoke of. “He probably hadn’t felt those feelings before so they can’t be clearly expressed by him.” Josh said. “It’s almost as though you’re the first person to realize you have a heart. You can’t see it, and you might not know what it is, but you can feel it.” |
'I don't know.. but thanks to Sangre I realised it's okay I feel like kissing.. or hugging.. it's okay because Master wouldn't hate me for doing that. I realised that's it okay.. I'm a bit scared to ask you all those questions.. Are you angry I didn't?' Akira knew it wasn't possible to read all what he wrote.. but he hoped it was somehow was.
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Josh had to lean back a little when he saw Akira writing, most of it he couldn’t really pick up, but the few words he did manage to read were enough to understand what he was trying to say. Knowing Akira went to Sangre to ask questions wasn’t a bad sign to Josh, in fact he was kind of…happy to hear that. It meant he was being helped, and knowing he probably wouldn’t be able to answer the questions Akira needed to know, Josh was almost relieved.
“I’m not angry, not at all.” He answered instantly. “I’m glad that someone can help you with any questions you might want to ask. I think it’s a good thing, if you didn’t ask him then you probably wouldn’t be so close with me now.” Josh smirked and decided to mention one last thing. “If you ever need to ask something, you can go to either of us. I wouldn’t mind either way.” He guaranteed. |
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