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"I would love to continue but.. my b-body", he mumbled into the towel where he hid his face once again. "I-I'm sorry.. It.. w-was so nice and I destroyed.. i.. it.."
Akira's voice was trembling a bit and it seemed like he was about to cry, concluding from how shaky it was. Just like he himself his voice wasn't able to hide what he was feeling. |
Josh was standing next to the bed for a few moments, but then he heard Akira speaking and he went right back to the bed to sit down next to him. His voice was showing how he felt, and Josh didn’t want to hear him sounding like that, as though he did something wrong.
“You didn’t ruin anything Akira…” Josh laid next to him, wrapping his arm around his body and pressing his head to the other males. “Listen. It’s natural. Please, don’t cry.” Josh kissed Akira’s shoulder, his hopeful eyes peering at the man before him in hopes that he wouldn’t shed a single tear. “If your body does that, listen to it, don’t be ashamed.” Josh whispered near his ear while keeping his lips pressed to Akira’s skin. |
When Josh laid next to him and wrapped his arms around him he bit his lip as he listened to the other male. After few longer moments he turned his head so it could be well seen. His green eyes had some tears gathered in them when he looked at Josh from behind his messy bangs.
"I.. isn't it.. s-shameful?", he whispered, his cheeks still flushed a bit. |
It took a while, but Josh finally got to see Akira look back at him. Even though his eyes were beautiful, it was a shame to see them with tears built up within them. Josh put his hand up, carefully wiping under Akira’s eyes while whispering.
“Not at all. If your body wants something, it tells you. For example, if you’re hungry your stomach growls. If you have to use the bathroom, you’ll know. And what’s happening now isn’t unnatural. Your body is just trying to tell you how you feel…” Josh kept his eyes locked with Akira’s, smiling lightly and speaking even softer. “I almost had the same problem a few moments ago. I really do enjoy touching you Akira, I love that you trust me enough to allow me to do so.” Josh said to him softly. “I feel privileged.” |
Akira's eyes didn't left Josh's face even for a moment, listening to him intently. Hearing all that he relaxed a bit. So it all was natural? Then he looked surprised at Josh.
"R-really? And of course I trust you. You're a knight, remember?", he said really softly. "So.. it's normal when you touch me.. a-a-and.. it reacts..? I'm not abnormal.. and d-dirty..?" For someone it could be really funny what Akira thought.. but he was entirely serious with what he had said now. And he would think like that of himself if Josh wouldn't explain it to him. Now he was just making sure. |
Josh smiled again, this time it was because Akira called him a knight again. He didn’t see himself as one, in fact he’d say no such thing about himself but…it was still very kind of Akira to say. “I remember.” he whispered instead. With what Akira said next, Josh shook his head instantly. “Not at all. It’s actually something all men experience, it just shows the attraction you feel for the other person. You know that I do the same thing, so you aren’t alone.” Josh tried not to smile. It sounded kind of cute to hear Akira actually saying such things. Of course he didn’t laugh or even chuckle because he knew the state he was in, laughing would only make him feel humiliated.
“When that happens….it means you desire the person that caused it…” Josh very carefully rubbed along Akira’s hip, but didn’t do anything more. “So to me, I’m honored you feel that way towards me.” |
"Oh. Okay then.. So.. it's okay to desire you..? You're not upset with me, right? And wouldn't in the future too.. r-right?", Akira made sure for the last time, still observing Josh closely. "It would be okay to feel desire?"
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Josh shook his head once again, looking into Akira’s eyes and smiling. “No, it’s normal to feel that way. In fact I’d love if you desired me.” Josh smirked. “I yearn for you just the same as you do for me. So yes, if you ever feel this way because of me in the future, I won’t be upset with you. Most likely I’d be happy about it.” Josh resisted a chuckle. It was always nice to know Akira could get excited just from his hands alone, plus knowing that he had any sexual attraction towards him was always a good thing.
“You understand now?” Josh whispered. |
Akira thought about it for few moments and then nodded. Yes. Now he understood everything. With a faint smile on his lips he nodded.
"Thank you for explaining it all to me", said Akira softly and touched Josh's hand lightly. "My questions must sound stupid.." |
As usual, Josh’s eyes fixated on Akira’s throat when he heard him speak. There was always a slight concern in the back of his mind that his throat would be aching with each word he spoke, although at the same time he just loved hearing the sound of it.
Josh looked back into Akira’s green eyes and very gently scowled. “ Tthey aren’t stupid. You’ve never been through it…I understand. I’m just glad you’re not crying anymore. And you‘re welcome.” Josh said under his breath. It always broke his heart to see Akira cry, wanting to just wrap him in his arms and hold onto him until his tears disappeared. Glancing down at his hand, Josh smiled from Akira’s soft touch, wrapping his fingers through his and looking back into his eyes. “Don’t be ashamed. Turn over for me, I can massage your stomach. Sounds strange but it can help you. It can even promote digestion.” Josh smirked. |
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