.-One Time Too Much -. {Private with me and zajawa}

[RedRose4]

When Deiru got ready to leave, Kaden didn’t stop him this time. Without a word, he watched as he left and closed the door behind him, standing there motionless for a few seconds before Kaden couldn’t take it anymore.
Walking towards the wall of his room, the demon tried holding back but couldn’t help himself. Punching as hard as he could, Kaden clenched his jaw as he busted a huge hole in the middle of his wall, looking at his scratched hand and already feeling a little better.
Then came the guilt Kaden felt. He glanced back at the door and thought about what Deiru said. He was like his dad…and in a way, Kaden thought that maybe Deiru was better off without him, without the reminder of the person that ruined his life.
Sitting on his living room couch, Kaden looked at his right hand, purposefully rubbing the injuries along the couch to feel some sort of pain so he couldn’t think. He wanted to just…feel numb for a moment, at least for a few minutes.

[zajawa]

Soon Deiru made his way to the bar and started drinking. Oh, yes. That felt really good. After his second quick beer he started to think. Was really Kaden like his god damned father? Not really.. He had his moments.. but wasn't really like him that much. He realised he kind of wanted to hurt Kaden with his words.. for bringing those memories back to him. Sighing he knew that what had happened lately somehow changed him.. and he was a bit scared of it. And deep down he knew he started to grow some feelings to older demon.. but was really confused as that what they exactly were. He was jealous ealier for Animal.. but sometimes he was really angry at Kaden.. and then was those times he liked to sleep next to him. Was it.. love? Was he even capable of such feeling.. not really knowing what it was almost all his life. Last time he felt something like that he killed that person.. but that was then. Now he.. changed. And not because he wanted.. First was fear.. but then.. Sighing he rubbed his head. He felt someone bumping into him.. and then before he knew he was in a bar brawl, fighting all the way back.. and letting his emotions out.

[RedRose4]

Time passed and Kaden barely seemed to move. Staying seated on the couch, the demon’s eyes rested on the ground as he thought out his options. There were so many he could think of. Deiru could leave, have his own life, or he could stay for…as long as he’d want, or Kaden could…
Shaking his head, the demon rubbed along his forehead and closed his eyes. Why did it have to be so damn confusing? Kaden couldn’t understand why he wanted Deiru to stay in his life. The man had nothing that seemed to be special, in fact Kaden saw him more of a hassle than anything else but… something about Deiru made the older demon grow attached with each passing day. Either it was his attitude, his past, or maybe something else entirely.
It was difficult to imagine Deiru was the same person at night, the one he wrapped his arms around and fell asleep next to. It seemed so many things were setting Deiru off recently, and Kaden had no idea how to handle it. Relationships of any kind bewildered him, and the only person he actually can be close with is his sister. Anyone else is just a puzzle to him. Especially Deiru.
Lifting his gaze, Kaden looked back at the door, slowly getting up and going to his bedroom where the mirror stood. Looking into it, Kaden could barely gaze into his own eyes without looking away. He hated himself, especially in this moment. How could he do something to Deiru to set him off like that? Triggering things from his life that Kaden hated to see resurface.
Then he wondered…maybe he deserved his own abuse as a child, maybe he deserved to feel that pain again. Shaking his head, Kaden walked away from the mirror to sit on his bed. “Stop fucking pitying yourself.” He whispered to himself, sitting up against his bed frame and grabbing a smoke, needing a cigarette just as badly as he needed a reality check.

[zajawa]

After some time.. Deiru wasn't sure how long he was out.. he came back. Opening the door he made sure it would well heard when they closed. Taking off his shoes he sighed at the pain in his back. His lip, beside the mark he made himself had a cut from the fight. His hands were bruised an scraped and clothes a bit tore up. Under it he had some bruises forming.. and his wrist really hurt. Other than that he was fine. Wondering if Kaden was in home he went to the fridge and took out the ice and put it on his back. He wondered if he didn't have something broken.. after all it was a damn bar stool. Sighing it lit a cigarette, leaning on the counter. Closing his eyes he sighed as the cold was numbing a pain a bit.

[RedRose4]

Kaden crushed his cigarette his in the ashtray next to his bed, reaching for another one but noticing he had already went through the rest of the pack while sitting in bed. Sighing in frustration, Kaden was about to stand up before hearing his front door.
Looking at where the sound came from, Kaden wondered what to do but…decided not to talk to him right now. He wouldn’t know what to say, plus Kaden wasn’t sure how Deiru was feeling. By the sound of how loudly he closed the door, he still wasn’t very ’happy’.
Getting up from his bed, Kaden made his way to his bathroom to take a shower. He wanted to talk to Deiru but thought distracting himself would be a better idea. Grabbing a towel, Kaden started the showerhead and got in, ignoring the scalding hot water in the process.
Even though Kaden wanted to distract himself, he couldn’t think of anything other than Deiru…and he knew that soon enough he’d have to talk to him.

[zajawa]

Hearing the water running he understood Kaden was probably a bit hesistant to start the talk and wanted to gave himself time before doing so. It wasn't like he didn't understand that feeling.. but waiting wouldn't solve anything. deciding he would wait none the less he just smoke his cigarette and took two beers out of the fridge. That could be a good start. With a sigh he decided to do some pizza as well. It was quite late and they didn't eat anything since dinner. Smiling a bit to himself at what he was doing and how natural it felt.. he was actually glad he met Kaden. It was hard from time to time.. on them both... but he liked this feeling of home older demon gave him. It was new to him.. but it was good. He just hoped Kaden felt the same, that it would be a pity to loose what they had here. Hissing a bit when his wrist started to hurt even more he sighed.
"Is it broken?", he wondered aloud.

[RedRose4]

Only taking a few minutes, Kaden turned off the shower and stepped out. Wrapping a towel around himself, the demon headed to his bedroom and took out some clothes, grabbing a shirt and some sweat pants, putting them on and then using the towel to dry his hair.
Once he did that, Kaden went to the mirror and fixed it up a bit so that it wasn’t going in all different directions. Glancing at his bedroom door, Kaden walked up to it, pausing shortly before twisting the handle, opening it and stepping into the living room.
Right away Kaden’s eyes shifted to the kitchen where Deiru was, redirection to the living room so he wouldn’t be starring. In Kaden‘s mind, the young demon was still upset, and if that was true then he had no intention of saying something or else his choice of words might end up resulting in another argument. Instead Kaden went towards the couch, sitting on the armrest so that he could be facing his side towards the kitchen. Glancing back over, he noticed Deiru cooking…but even more so he noticed how beat up he looked.

Looking away again, Kaden rubbed his forehead and closed his eyes, shaking his head and almost growling as he tried not to worry about Deiru. Why the hell did he care anyway? If he got himself hurt, it was his problem, not Kaden’s. But…how the hell was he supposed to ignore the fact that Deiru looked like he was injured, probably in pain, and what was he supposed to do? Ignore it?
Since that was out of the question, Kaden tapped his foot against the ground, clearly anxious now as he kept his eyes closed tightly in thought.

[zajawa]

He didn't really react when Kaden decided to go to the livingroom. As the pizza was ready he managed to put on the plate. And that was it. With one hand it was all he was able to do. He went to the living room and clearing his throat he decided to speak up.
"There is a pizza. But.. my wrist is hurting pretty badly so if you want to cut it in slices.. I wouldn't mind. Also..", he paused and added. ".. there's beer.. so maybe it would be good idea to drink.. and eat? ...together?"
Mostly he didn't have problem with saying what's on his mind.. and he let out his steam off at the fight so it wasn't really that hard to propose that. He knew Kaden was worse with feelings than him so.. he needed to be the one that would start things up this time.

[RedRose4]

Watching as Deiru put the food down, Kaden focused on the pizza momentarily and then at him. It was stupid, but the first thing that came out of the older demon’s mouth was. “You’re hurt…”
Looking up into his eyes, Kaden wanted to heal him, so so badly, but he shook his head and stood up. “Yeah, I’ll cut it and…we can eat…together.” Walking towards the table, Kaden grabbed a knife and began slicing the pizza, focusing on the food for the time being although not being able to without glancing at Deiru again.
Kaden wasn’t sure how he’d be able to eat food while looking at someone he cared for with bruises and cuts on his face and body, and he even said his wrist was hurting, how the fuck can he ignore that?

“Fuck, let me heal you.” Kaden said through his clenched jaw, not sounding mad but more frustrated. “Please.” he then added with a bit less roughness to his voice, almost sounding desperate.

[zajawa]

When he heard Kaden, he nodded with a small chuckle.
"Yea.. Got into some bar fight. Needed to.. chill out. And the guy took the bar stool.. and before I got to him he got me..", he said, trying to make small talk.
Limping slightly he followed Kaden and took two beers, placing it on the kitchen table. When he heard Kaden he was really surprised.
"It would be nice.. though I'm afraid there is something broken.. in the wrist and on my back.. Damn stool got me good", he said softly and then, not looking at Kaden, he added. "I'm sorry for saying you're.. like him. You have bad moments.. but.. you're not.. I guess.. I wanted to hurt you.. for.. well...."