The way you love me [private for me and MsJacobL]

[zajawa]

'It's embarrassing..' This time Akira wrote in the air, his eyes looking down at his knees once again. Remebering what had happen this morning in the kitchen made his heart flatter and his crotch getting tighter. As much as it was embarrassing it was somehow exciting to remember other male's hands on his body. Akira was confused with that feeling inside him, feeling quite lost at the moment.

[RedRose4]

"Is it? Why do you think so Akira?" Josh asked, wanting to know why his boyfriend felt so embarrassed by it. Of course, it made sense for him to feel that way, but he wanted to know first hand why Akira thought of it as embarrassing.
Tilting the camera down slightly, but keeping his face in frame, Josh smiled as he rested his hands on either of his thighs, but not doing anything else.
"Remember Akira? How it feels when my hands move against you? I know you do. Please, just let yourself relax, remember everything and try not to stress yourself out." Josh whispered.

[zajawa]

'Because you would be looking... on me.. touching....' Akira still didn't look at Josh so he didn't notice the view changed a bit. When he was asked if he remembered he closed his eyes and nodded his head bashfully. Of course he remembered. How could he not. Akira felt tears of embarrassment gathering in his closed eyes. How he could do something so shameful...? Pleasing himself while Josh would be looking? That would be so dirty..

[RedRose4]

Noticing the reaction of Akira, Josh took a deep breath, leaning against the desk once more and speaking clearly, with a stronger tone than before. "How is that so bad? We have done the most intimate thing two people can do, doing something as simple as pleasing yourself isn't wrong Akira. I'm here with you, not physically but I'm here…"
Josh leaned back, his hands resting on the sides of his chair now, not doing anything further until he saw that Akira relaxed a little more. "If you aren't comfortable, we won't have to. But I assure you, no matter how embarrassing it seems, it'll only be us. Just like it always is."

[zajawa]

Akira's arms slumped a bit when he heard the change of tone and then the wrods that was told. Rubbing his eyes a bit he wrote once again, with his hand trembling a bit this time. 'I don't want to be dirty..' Rubbing his eyes some more he sniffled, trying to calm down a bit since he didn't want to upset other male with how he was acting.

[RedRose4]

"You aren't dirty." Josh said instantly, wanting to be with Akira, to reassure him and wrap his arms around him. Being unable to do that was hard enough, and seeing him this way was difficult.
Taking a deep breath, Josh brushed his fingers along the sides of his own legs, closing his eyes and speaking, trying his best not to sound selfish. "Please. Can't you do this for me? For us. I promise to you it's not dirty. We care for each other, we aren't doing this out of pure lust itself Akira." Josh tried to explain, his eyes returning to the screen so he could see the man before him.

[zajawa]

The instant answer made Akira feel a bit better. Rubbing his eyes once again he looked at Josh timidly. Hearing the explanation he calmed down a bit and tried to think about it a bit more. 'So... it's not dirty if we care for each other?' Yes.. Akira was naive but really, how could be any different with the way he was rised up. That was naivety coming from just how pure the young male was and not from being stupid.

[RedRose4]

Josh was glad to see Akira look up, and when he did he nodded his head and hummed. "If we weren't doing this out of care for one another, then it would be dirty because it wouldn't be something we share. It would be selfish. But with us, it's different. We have feelings for each other, and this…this Akira is just one way of showing trust and love." Josh smiled a little more, glad to see him.
With a few ideas in his mind, Josh waited for his poor boyfriend to feel a bit better before suggesting it, knowing if he did now it would end up spiralling out of control.

[zajawa]

Wiping his eyes with his sleeve he nodded his head. So it was because they cared..? 'So.. if I do it I'll show love... and trust?' Asking that Akira's eyes had those pure, questioning look in them, making him look quite adorable. It was clear he tried to understand everything and it wasn't that easy for him. Though good thing was he calmed down and he wasn't trembling anymore. As well as that he stopped crying.

[RedRose4]

Josh didn't want to lie to Akira, telling him that what he was doing showed that. Manipulating someone he loved wasn't something he wanted to do, so he answered honestly. "It's not that it shows such things. But…it helps me understand how much you care for me Akira. I know you wouldn't have done this with anyone else, and if you did this for me now…I would feel so grateful." Josh felt a shiver run up his spine, looking at his adorable, innocent looking boyfriend and knowing that he was capable of so much more.